WE HAVE JUST ENOUGH knowledge of good and evil to believe we know right from wrong. We only run into a wall when the lines get blurred or we look backward and see that we only thought something was right but turned out to be wrong.
You may not like running into walls—I always feel stupid when I do—but what else is going to wake us up to the reality that there is a vast chasm between what we know and what we do not know that we do not know?
During his days on earth, Jesus turned the righteous people upside down as he was trying to turn them inside out and expose their hearts. It made them crazy with anger, no less than I felt when I found myself on a wilderness journey, which seemed like an evil and very wrong place for God to lead a respectable church lady.
What happened to the “exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think”? Ephesians 3:20-21
And what about “I will never leave or forsake you” when Jesus seems to be asleep while the boat is sinking, or worse, he returns pleas for help with silence? Hebrews 13:5
If a friend slammed every door shut that would lead me out of the “Twilight Zone”, or blindfolded me and dropped me off in the middle of the desert, I would think him evil and wrong.
Even if he did give me every provision needed to sustain my life.
And if I could get my hands on him, I’d probably nail him to a tree. Oh, my goodness, what am I saying?
That in my righteous indignation I would commit murder.
I’ve often wondered how the church people could crucify Jesus, but today I understand, for while I was unable to harm him, I certainly did a fair job of killing him in my heart with my thoughts and complaints.
And he endured my arrogance and never stopped loving me.
I always thought indifference was the opposite of love, and it can be. But sometimes indifference proves love.
Tough love.
Jesus taught us that we are to be indifferent to people and even our own life, a wild contradiction to his command to love God and love people. I got a private lesson, as he was indifferent to my cries for help, but also indifferent to my false accusations toward him.
Instead of walking away from our friendship, he waited, like a parent with an obstinate child, until I was turned inside out and completely broken.
Then he taught me how to be indifferent.
To my circumstances.
Indifferent to what he did or did not do for me.
Which freed me to love him. Anyway.
His purpose was to show me how to trust and abide in him, how to eat from the tree of life, which is his living Word.
I’m not the same person I was when my nightmare began. Today, I’m learning how to love people while being indifferent to their skin color, beliefs, behaviors, status, attitudes, and abilities.
In this regard, indifference is a beautiful thing, much like the transcendent power of forgiveness, for it moves relationships to a deeper level, where giving freely is never returned void.
As I eat from the tree of life, the fruits from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil seem less trustworthy. And if I love God and love people, the law seems to take care of itself.
Thank you, Lord Jesus, for turning me inside out.
“If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.”—Jesus (Luke 14:26)
Genesis 2:15-17,Deuteronomy 8:3,Isaiah 55:11, Hebrews 4:12, John 6:63, John 5:39-40, John 5:45-47
As always, it is my intent and hope that my words may encourage you wherever you are in your journey.
If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.–Jesus (Mark 4:23)
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You told me a couple weeks ago to love anyway. I was working on that but
now I think I know what you meant- practice indifference. Thank you.